I just read the most amazing post on a very popular blog in which the writer "comes out" about her battle with depression. Her honesty and courage is just amazing, especially as her blog is not focused upon recovery but is geared towards "regular" followers who are simply public fans.
She compares battling depression to battles with cancer and related diseases. While personal triumphs over the latter conditions is cause for fantabulous celebration, the former does not elicit the same kind of pat-on-the-back response. More often, it is misunderstood and creates an atmosphere of shame and embarrassment than pride and joy. Why is this? Mood disorders, mental illnesses, and addictions are miswirings of the brain and related physiological systems. Why can we share diagnosis and triumph over diabetes but not alcohlism? Heart disease but not bipolar disorder? High blood pressure but not drug abuse?
As a long distance runner, I think about this a lot because I see hundreds of runners donning t-shirts for every cause imaginable. Zillions of dollars and priceless awarness is raised via running advertisements for leukemia, asthma, autism, etc. Just imagine for a moment seeing me running by (you'd have to keep your eyes open, though, as I am uber-fast!) and seeing me in a tee that proudly claimed "Running for Recovery: AA saves lives". Omg, how great would that be?! Well, great for us but not great for the wildly awkward feelings and responses from other runners and bystanders.
Stigma. Terrible, I know, and the only way to defeat it is to obviously "come out". But oops ~ there's that whole anonymous issue. I have to say, I have not felt kindly towards the anoymous tradition. I will respect it for others, of course, from the bottom of my soul but I am very doubtful it is doing us much good in the long run. It maintains a stigma. Does anyone remember when the words "breast cancer" were mostly whispered? And have those same people ever witnessed the unbelievable crowds of the Walk for the Cure? Amazing, how much has been accomplished by coming out. Remove stigma - check. Raise money and resources for treatments - check. Create early detection and prevention programs - check. Save and improve lives beyond measure - check.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if someday the same could happen for our disease? Check out the inspirational blogger here: http://thebloggess.com/2012/01/the-fight-goes-on/
Hope you all are having a blissful and sober new year!
Good post. I think for so many years people stereotyped alcoholics as bums, living on the street and drinking out of a paper bag. I had a friend who recently stopped drinking say, "I mean I really didn't have a problem, its not like I ever got a DUI." I looked at her and said, "A DUI doesn't make an alcoholic, I never got one either".
ReplyDeleteWhats ironic is the amount of professional people in our communities that are recovering alcoholics, people like us mother's, successful human beings with a disease. We should be able to shout it from the roof tops. When we choose to sober up the benefits are huge, and certainly praise worthy. I like to see the reaction when someone finds out I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've gotten statements like, "You?", you're so pulled together!" Really well outside appearances do not always reveal the inside turmoil someone is suffering with. I choose to be open about my disease because I want people to realize that just like cancer, alcoholism doesn't discriminate. It effects all people, from all walks of life. And this is one Alcoholic who is proud to be a part of AA and recovering :)
No-one knew I was such a terrible drinker until four months ago I put my hand up and admitted I had a problem with alcohol and was removing it from my life. Everyone was surprised, and proud and I know they now think I'm amazingly strong. Yet I know someone living in hell with depression, anxiety, OCD, germiphobia, stress and terrible anger. I also now know (from having just been camping with her - no fun whatsoever) that she is suicidal. Yet she aggressively lives this facade of having a perfect life. She desperately needs help and I don't know what to do as she is so defensive. She thinks I'm amazing and I want to tell her you can be amazing too .. just don't pretend.
ReplyDeleteI wish so too. I wish it was better understood...great post!
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