I am having the most amazing realizations and would just love some feedback from any readers out there. I am starting to understand that certain aspects of myself that didn't seem connected to my alcoholism are actually Very Much connected to my alcoholism. Slowly and steadily, through listening in AA, reading all of you, and working with a wonderful therpist, I've begun to see that some of my behaviors and personality traits ~ ones I always thought were just "me" ~ are actually the result of being raised in a super-alcoholic family/community and my own alcoholism. Now that I look at these particular traits/behaviors with a critical eye, it just makes so much sense... but letting them go is difficult to imagine doing (how do I let go of "me-ness"?!) and heartbreaking (some of these qualities have been so much fun!) . It was painful enough to break up with all that lovely (um, I mean demonic) wine, but now it's clear I have to let go of parts of "myself" that just don't serve me or others anymore. They served alcoholism.
I should also say that I've come to this place without doing the forth step yet. Despite three years sobriety, I just started working the steps with a sponsor. It was just after I starting mulling over this issue in the last few days that I realized the fourth step might be exactly what I'm talking about.
Anyway, my questions to all of you are: Did this happen to you? If so, what did you have to change or let go of? Isn't this scarey?! Oh god, grateful for anything you can share...
